Happy Fridays, everyone! Thank God!

It is clear to me now that there is right way to do wedding dress shopping and a wrong way to do wedding dress shopping.

Unfortunately for me and everyone who has been wedding dress shopping with me, this fact only became clear to me AFTER I went wedding dress shopping. Yes, AFTER.

So of course, dear readers, would you like to guess how I did wedding dress shopping? It was WRONG. Perhaps, I should add one more value to this scale, RIGHT, WRONG, and the way that TRACI DID IT, which was worse than wrong! Wronger! Wrongest!

Remember, no one in my family has had a wedding before so I didn’t really think about getting advice before I went.

The first time I went wedding dress shopping, I decided to go impromptu after having lunch with my mother. I told her that we would stop at a local bridal salon that I remembered seeing nearby, of course without an appointment–as if that were no big deal. What I failed to remember was the name of this local bridal salon (which under normal circumstance wouldn’t matter–my circumstances, however, are generally never normal.). Let’s say it was a very fru fru salon.

Before when I said impromptu, that basically means I put no thought into going to try on wedding decisions salon. This is a really poor decision on my part because you SHOULD put ALOT of thought into shopping for your wedding dress. This is one of the most important things you will decide in relation to your wedding! After all, we prepare to go venue shopping, have a list of questions for photographers and dj’s, we taste the caterers food before we book usually….we should also prepare for this.

When you go bridal dress shopping , it is really important that look your best–meaning shave where ever it is that you shave, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, put on as much makeup as you think you may wear you wedding day, do your hair in a similar style, maybe bring shoes at a height you think you will wear, if you have jewelry that would complement a wedding dress you should certainly wear it–but most importantly make sure the undergarments you are wearing are appropriate. The key word there is appropriate. Maybe a strapless bra and spandex or full/brief style underwear. You should also seriously consider the color because for the most part, the dresses you are trying on will be white and lacey and maybe even see through (like the one below)–white, nude, gray colors would work appropriately. By making sure you look spectacular, it will make focusing on the dress easier. Hopefully, it will make picking a dress easier because you will really help you imagine your look for your wedding day.

I confess all of that was lost on me, especially the last part about the underwear.

So after lunch, my mother and I stroll into this salon, remember, without an appointment. I was dressed in my gym clothes, which happen to make me look homeless because they are old and worn in, as well as too big for me (mistake #1); in addition to being ill-dressed, I am blessed to be with dirty hair, no makeup, sneakers, no jewelry, no fresh breathe (altiod, anyone?), and legs that are…how do you say…parisian chic (mistakes #2-7).  No bra at all and even better (any boys reading this?) –a red thong (mistakes #8-infinity, really my underwear choice was unforgivable)! Please don’t misinterpret my scantily clad situation as a bold confidence and willingness to share my great physique–that is most certainly not the case, I am very modest when it comes to this sort of thing even with my own family.

A young staff member approaches me and asks what she can do for us, I say (painfully now that I am re-accounting this story) that, “Can I see some….stuff?” The woman looked me up and down in consideration of my question, like I had seventy nine heads, and after an outpouring of verbal stuttering was finally able to spit out, “Do you have an appointment?” To which I cooly said, “No.” Fortunately, or unfortunately for the poor person slotted to work with me, they put me in a room and found an attendant. Then, we discussed budget and then we looked around to start picking dresses.

To me, my budget for a dress was kinda high; I believe that $2,000 is the average spent on a dress. At this particular salon, however, the dresses run up to $15,000 so I was told that they only have a few dresses within that price range for me. I think I gasped aloud when she said that, but I was still willing to look at what they had (mistake #infinity plus 2–you should know the salon you were are going to, their stock, their prices so that you can SAVE YOURSELF THE HEARTBREAK).

That particular time, I had in my mind that I wanted a short dress (mistake #infinity plus 3-when you are petite, going with dress that is respectably short only makes you look shorter; if you are willing go with a Beyonce-style not so respectably short wedding dress, then you will look taller but there is a reason that those dresses are meant for Beyonce!).

So we walked back to the room and my mom was given a place to sit. Just as I was about to go into the room, the attendant started to follow me in. I stopped her and asked if I can put the dresses on myself (mistake #infinity plus 4–some of these dresses I couldn’t even get on me even if I had seven hands, a mirror, and a pair of pliers!). She explained to me that because of the costs of the dresses, and the weight, etc, it would be better if she assisted me. For some reason, at this point, I thought back to all the bridal shows that I had been watching, you know Bridezilla, Say Yes to the Dress, etc. and duh! the cameras were in the room with the brides trying on the gowns and clearly, so were the attendants. I guess I never really thought about that fact. On those shows, you rarely ever see the brides putting on the dress, you just see them come out from the dressing room with the dress on–it’s more for the the OOOOHHHsss and AAAHHHHHsss.

In my bridal reality, when the attendant informed me that she would be in the room…I had to toss my modesty out the window and fast. I knew what I looked like under those clothes; to be fair, it was a hot mess that even I was barely prepared for let alone anyone else. I told her I didn’t have a bra, so she obliged me with one-thank god! But I couldn’t get the thing on myself because it had hooks and eyes all the way down the back. She gave me the tallest pairs of shoes they had, which were too big, so I wasn’t really wearing them. I was sort of wobbling in them like a penguin or small child or a small baby peguin. Then, I did the only thing I could think to do. I took off my pants and acted as if my underwear choice and french legs were expected and natural for such an occasion AND of course, that my behind wasn’t as big as it actually was. We didn’t say anything about the thin red line that separated us, as I stumbled into these dresses. Most are “under”, meaning you step in to them (rather than “Over” which they pull down you), then the attendant pulls them up your body—fortunately for me, I have a huge booty (1 inch larger than Kim Kardashian’s btw…yes… I know that for a fact…) and wide hips, which meant every dress would get stuck right there. Then, there would be this epic battle to pull the dress up me, making us look like we were practicing some sort of dirty dancing rendition. Eventually, we got the dresses on and showed them to my mom–but there were no winners that day. I left a big piece of my pride in that salon.

After that experience and advice from my sister, I wised up and started prepping for these appointments. I was determined to find a dress that would work well and after going to store after store and still finding nothing, I began to get frustrated. There are only so many times you can tolerate a dress getting stuck OR a “These dresses are from the runway–SIZE -Zero-let’s just see if you can your thigh in it and we’ll imagine the rest?”

The issue is that I took for granted the fact that I am petite (mistake #infinity+5). Being petite makes a difference in real life and apparently it also makes a difference in Bridal. As a petite woman, I have come to learn which clothing stores are more likely to have styles that suit me and actually fit well–without having to spend additional costs on tailoring. So gradually over time, I have focused on buying only from the stores. So being petite is no longer an issue for me in terms of good clothing. BTW if you are petite and looking for good places to shop, Ann Taylor, the Limited, and Banana Republic are great places to start. Being petite in Bridal, means the most dresses will be far too long on your and surprisingly heavy depending on the fabric/beading/etc. No joke, seriously, lifting some of these dresses is a better workout than what I get at the gym–Madonna arms for reals!

So as a petite bride however, the majority of the dresses that I found were not made for me. I don’t mean this in a critical way–I mean that it’s plainly obvious to anyone that a taller person would be better suited. I will say, critically though, in Bridal my waist has become the Bermuda triangle of Bridal shopping–the dress looks great on the hanger but then where funny things start happening once it gets on my hips. The lines on a petite bride are particularly important–not just waist line (although that is important too). For example, dress with asymmetry seem to be really popular now and I found, for me, I ended up looking cut off. Other dresses that are fit and flare are great again, for tall people, but for me at my height, 5’1′, the flare was up my thighs as opposed to on my lower legs.

The GOLDEN RULE that will help you find that dress right away is…there are UNFORGIVING and FORGIVING waistlines, shapes, and fabrics. For me empire and natural were bad lines, a-line and ballroom were too much, sheath was underwhelming, and the satin fabrics OR the heavy fabrics left my drooping or baby bumping (when I’m not even pregnant; see the bump below).

The sooner you figure that out for your own body shape the easier the process will be. That said, there are certain designers that really understand a petite woman’s curves. Designers who have dresses that don’t OVERWHELM you–you want to wear the dress and not have the dress wear you. As a petite bride, this can be a really hard thing to achieve but check out Romona Keveza, Jenny Lee, and Jenny Packham.

In fact, the dress that I ended up picking, after many other hilariously awkard bridal shopping experiences, was a blush colored, strapless, sweetheart, mermaid with ruching by Romona Keveza. I will shamelessly mention that the dress is available for sale on PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com for anyone looking for a great deal!

http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/33727/Romona-Keveza-L111-Size-10.html 

 

Yes, I recognize this last picture is purely amusing. At some point, during this first bridal shopping experience, I came out in a dress that had ostrich feathers–to which my mom commented, you look like the White Swan, a pun on the movie Black Swan, which had just come out in the theater. I think the get up below is much more swan-like personally…

Happy shopping!