October 1 – New Years has to be my favorite time of year.   I’m in love with fall, with its bright colors and cooler temperatures, football games and bonfires, and how it leads right into the holiday season.  Every year, those three months seem to fly by and as I get older, the faster they go.  The memories that I have from this time of the year are mostly happy ones, spent with family and friends.  I think that one of the things that I love best about being in a relationship is learning about your partner’s family and their holiday traditions and sharing yours with them.

Growing up, my family had a particular way of celebrating the holidays.  Sure, things changed and evolved over the years – traditions came and went.  (Yes, dear brother, our family has traditions).  Thanksgiving and Christmas were times that we all came together.  My extended family is large – my mom has a sister and my dad is one of ten children.  But most of our celebrations were smaller…just my parents, grandparents and my brother.  Some years more, some years less.  Holiday dinners were usually held at my parent’s home, with my mom cooking lunch (at my house, we ate at noon) and afterwards, relaxing in the living room.  Dinner usually consisted of leftovers from lunch.  After college and living on my own, four-five hours from my family, it became my tradition to travel home every holiday.  But being in a relationship sometimes changes all of that.  You find yourself in a position of having to chose between your family and the person you are dating.  Especially in my case in which my immediate family is on the other side of the state.

This will be the third Christmas season that Steve and I have been together.  Relatively new in our relationship, the first year we spent apart with me visiting my family and he spending it with his.  But as our relationship progressed, and now with being engaged, we have started celebrating more of the holidays together.  I enjoy seeing and experiencing what his family traditions are.  His family celebrates everything BIG with lots of cousins, aunts and uncles and family friends.  Its a lot of fun – albeit a wee-bit overwhelming compared to what I am used to – as I love being with people, eating cornucopious amounts of food and heading out to see holiday lights after dinner.  Last year we began our first holiday tradition as a couple – Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas with the other.  And as much as I enjoyed gorging myself over turkey last month, I am truly looking forward to sitting around the tree Christmas Eve in a couple of weeks with my family, playing with my niece and enjoying a mug of warm spiced eggnog.  Steve and I have many holidays together a head of us and I’m sure that our traditions with continue to merge and change as we get older and our family of two grows.

I think that sometimes, combining families and traditions isn’t always the easiest thing to do.  And it can put a serious strain on one’s relationship.  Throw in some wedding planning and well…just might not be pretty.  But this is the time of year for all of us to reflect on what is important to us as individuals, couples and families.  Being able to spend time with your loved ones is the greatest gift of all.