The past 2 months of my life have been the craziest I’ve ever experienced. Since March, Clay has defended (successfully, I might add!) his PhD thesis, a wonderful couples’ shower was hosted for us by friends, we drove me (and 2/3 of our cats) back to PA to stay at my mom’s for a few weeks, assembled and mailed our invitations, took time to find somewhere to live once we move (in a week, by the way), we tackled our food and cake tasting, attended a florist meeting, hair and makeup trial, first dress fitting, my bridal shower (which was lovely) took place… and now I’m back in Iowa just in time to pack up our apartment and remaining Midwestern cat and move to New Jersey. Oh, and Clay’s graduation is this weekend. And our wedding is a month from tomorrow.

Now. People have been telling us our life timeline is crazy for the past year. But the reality is, when you set your wedding date typically over a year ahead of time… you can’t necessarily predict what kind of madness is going to occur. For example, when we chose June 9^th, we didn’t think that we would be in the process of moving so close to the wedding. But things twist and turn unpredictably and here we are, yet again preoccupied with something other than planning our wedding. And we’re behind. Really behind. Bridesmaid #9 Jackie just got married a few months ago so she is still able to snap into wedding mode at the drop of a hat. Which she did a couple weeks ago as we sat at the kitchen table in the house I grew up in, sipping mimosas and finishing brunch. “Now then…” she began as she whipped out a red marker and a hundred page long checklist she had so sweetly printed out for me that morning. Jackie crossed off the (meager) tasks we’ve accomplished and placed pretty red dots next to the items that are overdue. By the time she was done, my new checklist looked like it had the chicken pox….oh good.

This sinking feeling of disorganization and chaos can be avoided to a point, and I highly recommend considering some things before lining up all of the key dates for your wedding. While my heart was set on getting married on our anniversary, I would give just about anything for another couple of months to get settled in our cottage (yes, cottage, Bliss Cottage to be exact…I can’t believe it’s called that, either) before experiencing wedding this “crunch time” that people are so irritatingly referring to as of late. You, too, might be uncompromising about a date, or more likely, a time of year that you want to get married… but make sure that you consider the things that could be happening around that time. Fantasizing about a winter wonderland wedding? Beautiful! But does seeing your family over Christmas cause you to eat (and/or drink…) compulsively and leave you chewing chalky Tums until well after you’ve rung in the New Year? Is there a “peak season” for your job or a point in the year when deadlines seem to pile up like leaves in the fall? Then perhaps you should reconsider your Autumn harvest theme dreams.

The bottom line is this: wedding planning is stressful. We all know that from the minute we get engaged and people start asking if you’ve set a date/found a venue/picked a dress/is Auntie Gertrude invited because if so, I’m not coming/can I bring my new girlfriend even though she’s not old enough to toast the happy couple?… But if you can, try to plan ahead and make things a little easier on yourself. Because once all of the “big” wedding things are taken care of (venue, photographer, dress, band, florist) there’s most definitely a lull for several months when you can’t (or, if you’re me, just don’t…) do much. In the final weeks before the wedding, suddenly you have a to-do list consisting of a million little things that take twice as long to accomplish than anticipated. A wedding is beautiful no matter what, and regardless of the time of year, it’s going to be the happiest day of your life because at the end of it, you’re married. A bride is also always beautiful… but one who’s managed to get more than 4 hours of sleep a night for the months leading up to the big day might end up enjoying herself a bit more!!!!!

Happy date-setting to the newly engaged couples and happy crunch time to my fellow June brides : )

This past weekend, my mom and my aunt traveled from western Pennsylvania to Reading to help me knock off some of those wedding to-dos.  One of which being my hair trial.  And since my mom lives so far away, I thought that it would be fun for both of us to have hair trials – a little precursor to the wedding day.

Blowout

I have been going to my hair dresser, Lisa, for almost eight years.  She’s awesome and a little crazy.   As she says, ‘The hair cut is free.  You are paying for the entertainment.”  I love her.  Over those eight years, I’ve followed her around from salon to salon and for me, there was no other person that could do my hair on my wedding day.  Lisa lives just outside of Allentown and is making arrangements to come to my house the morning of to do my hair and makeup, as well as several members of my bridal party.  I’m already planning a little spread of bagels and mimosas.  Its going to be a blast without the stress of running everyone back and forth from the salon to the house to finish getting ready.

I think that the reason why I enjoy having Lisa work on my hair is that she isn’t afraid to experiment with it.  I leave it up to her each time I have an appointment.  Usually when I walk in, she’ll say, “Omigod – I have the perfect hair color for you!“  I went in on Friday with a general idea of what I wanted – an up-do, curls in the back and a side swept bang.  Something simple and elegant to go with my birdcage veil.  After a few Velcro rollers, some time under the dryer and a blowup, I had a rough idea of what my hair will look that on my wedding day.

A more polished look.

My mom then had Lisa play with her hair and even my Aunt Cindy got in on the action with her own hair cut and style.  We wrapped up the day with a trip to ‘Partridge in a Pear Tree,’ a local dress shoppe, where my mom found her mother-of-the-bride dress.  Its not at all the dress that she envisioned buying but its beautiful.  I can’t wait to see her wear it!

The not-so-good "work of art"

Using a Macys gift card, Chris and I bought ourselves some new luggage. We spent the 2 days before the day before our South Jersey wedding packing. Actually, it was more like frantically running around figuring out what to pack and what to buy that we still needed to pack.

The day before the day before the wedding, my mom treated me and her to massages! We went to Hand & Stone in Delran, NJ and had wonderful, hour-long massages. Before the massages, we ran some last minute errands to The Castle, but those massages, OMYGOODNESS! Were perfect! Thanks Mom!

Before my mom picked me up, Chris helped me bring all of the luggage and bags outside. He lined them all up and said they look like “a work of art.” It was so cute! But they weren’t perfect, he had to fix them; you see, the space between the biggest one and the medium sized one was too small, he had to rearrange them.

The fixed "work of art."

The day before the wedding, my mom picked me up, along with my dress and our luggage, and several bags of things I needed for the day (my emergency kit, my hairpiece, my shoes, my sandals, clean undies, etc). We were on our way to my parents house! BUT WAIT! I think I forgot my meds! My mom quickly pulled over, I unloaded all of the luggage from the trunk, and made sure I had it. I called Chris, freaked out, and then found my meds in my purse.

“I need to stop second guessing myself,” I said.

Once we were on our way to my parents house, my mom joked that it’s the day before my wedding, she should say something profound. I said, “there! You said it! ‘Something profound.’” She laughed through some tears.

We went to my parents house, I dropped off my luggage and then we went to the salon to get our nails done. My mom and I had mani/pedis together and my sister Rachel had already been at the salon earlier getting her hair cut and colored, so she met us in their nail section when she was done. She asked what color for her nails, I said that she could do anything she wanted. Our other sister, Dani, headed straight to the salon from class, but was too late for her nails to be done and so she got upset and left. Rachel and her boyfriend tried to meet her and get her to come back, but it was too late. Instead, we made her and Rachel appointments for the wedding day, just earlier than we’d all be there for our hair.

The night before the wedding, I missed Chris terribly, but was so busy organizing my bags and my emergency kit for the next day, I forgot to make him his Groom t-shirt! I did so at 1am and finally got a shower, and went to sleep. Chris called me to say goodnight, and we did our goodnight routine over the phone. In 8 hours I’d be getting ready to marry my best friend. (Reliving it, to write for this article, I’m tearing up again. I love him so much!)

The Shower: This was such a nice party. A delicious Italian meal, flowing peach and pear bellinis, and some games all made for a perfect shower recipe. It was so great to see family and friends.

My Bachelorette Party: I can’t say too much, but what I will say is thank you to my bridesmaids and friends! They organized a great outing with the perfect amount of partying, dancing, and hanging out.  B also had his bachelor party extravaganza this weekend. 17 of his nearest and dearest friends flew out to Chicago for a weekend of activities. For any engaged ladies out there, I would definitely recommend having your bachelor and bachelorette parties the same weekend.

The Dress: I had my first dress fitting over Easter, and thankfully it was anti-climatic. The dress fit pretty well when I ordered it, if only I was 5 inches taller. I did change my mind on part of my dress, the sash. I guess I should be pleased I didn’t change my mind on the actual dress. I go back in a week and a half to see how the alterations turned out. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that second cookie tonight.

Beauty Trials: I also squeezed in my hair and make-up trial. Kristina at the salon was perfect. She took my ideas on paper and made them a reality. Any anxiety about my hair and make-up is long gone.

And, in those few days when I was actually in Chicago I finished the invitations.  Addressing the last envelope, stuffed the last insert, tied the last bow, and had B mail those off.  They are about a week later than planned, but we are still in the range. Now I just have to wait for all of the rsvps to arrive.

Let your imagination go wild. This Philadelphia wedding band is truly an ensemble.   One vocalist performs in ten different languages.  Meeting the growing demand for ethnic music, a percussionist specializes in Brazilian material; though, as Ulansey points out, “he’s pretty much comfortable with anything we throw at him.”

Thinking of weaving in some unexpected surprises for your guests? How about some sultry  tango music, an Irish jig or a southwest duet on banjo and harmonica?  If live music is one of your first priorities, this Philadelphia-area wedding band will more than fill the bill.

Ken Ulansey Ensemble has played at virtually every preferred wedding venue in the region, including Greystone, The Four Seasons, Merion Tribute House, The Michener Art Museum, Morris Aboretum, The Willows, Cairnwood Mansion and The Baldwin School.

 Ken Ulansey Ensembles

WHO PAYS: Traditionally, the groom’s parents plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. These days, however, many Philadelphia couples shell out for the shindig themselves or ask both sets of parents to share the cost.

WHO COMES: Your rehearsal dinner must, must, must include: all members of the wedding party (and their spouses or dates); parents of flower girls or ring bearers in the wedding, if the little ones are invited; all parents, stepparents and grandparents of the bride and groom, plus siblings who are not in the wedding party (and their spouses or significant others); and often the officiate and his or her spouse. Out-of-town guests should also be invited, but if you prefer to keep the gathering more intimate, schedule an event for them at another location. You could have a welcome reception at a restaurant or at the hotel where they’re staying, or informal cocktails at the home of a relative or close friend.

HOW FORMAL: The degree of formality is at the discretion of the hosts, but it should never exceed the formality (or lavishness) of the actual wedding. Whatever the rehearsal dinner’s style, it’s always courteous to send invitations after you’ve received wedding RSVPs. They needn’t be fancy—you can find fill-in-the-blank ones at stationery stores or make them on your computer at home.

You might have the rehearsal dinner at a Philadelphia restaurant, preferably with an attractive private room; in someone’s backyard (for a cookout!); or even at a clam shack or Philly pizza parlor for a super casual affair. Be creative, because, really, anything goes as long as you and your guests are relaxed, comfortable and having a good time. If you want to find the ideal place to have your Philadelphia rehearsal dinner, check out Partyspace.com

 

Cutting Edge Entertainment offers a team of Philadelphia wedding DJs that is unsurpassed in talent, energy and personality. Since 1992, their cast of characters has included motion picture actors, American Idol contestants, pro-bowl cheerleaders, professional dancers and recording artists. “They all got their start here,” says owner/director Craig Sumsky. “When you only hire the best, you become the best.”

What should you look for when choosing your Philadelphia wedding DJ? First and foremost, an industry professional who will listen to you; get a feel for the mood you envision and the music you love. “For the good DJ, the “DJing” is the easy part,” explains Sumsky. “The success of the event is all in the pre-planning, not simply with the bride and groom, but with all the professionals working the reception.”

But this Philadelphia wedding DJ company offers far more than great music. Looking for special lighting effects? Some professional dancers to truly get the party started? A vocalist and keyboardist for the cocktail hour?  They have it all, and they take it to the area’s most sought-after wedding venues, including: Hyatt Bellevue in Center City, Aldie Mansion in Doylestown, Cairnwood Estate in Bryn Athyn, The Manor House at Commonwealth in Horsham, and Philadelphia’s Pyramid Club – to name a few.

Cutting Edge Entertainment

Ok, so my sisters spilled the beans accidentally about this party. They tried to get my the day off by calling my manager, but couldn’t. So they told me that I needed to call around to get the shift covered so that I could be off from work that day, and to make sure my fiancé, Chris was off as well. So I called around and got someone to cover my shift. Check!

Next, I was asked [by a very bad liar of a MOH, Lynda] to go to the Please Touch Museum, because her “health insurance gave free memberships…” Yeah. Ok. Whatever. So I knew something was up. In preparation for this event, I slept in, did my hair, and made myself a “bride” t-shirt to wear.

Lynda picked us up and we took the el to the Gallery Mall in center city. After emerging to 11th and Market, Lynda blindfolded me and had Chris lead me around the whole freaking city! Chris forgot to tell me when there was a curb, I almost tripped! They even lead me inside a hotel with revolving doors! Not so easy when you’re blindfolded! Eventually we stopped walking. I had shifted my blindfold so I could see the ground and wouldn’t trip again and I even asked my 2 1/2 year old niece (who’s our flower girl) where we were going, since her MOH mother had told her, “Disney World!” Good. Teach your daughter to lie. (HAHAHA! Just kidding!)

Then they lead me into a building, up into an elevator (by then I sort of knew where we were) and then I heard giggling and my sister helped me up some stairs (ok, now I felt completely lost!). I saw bright flashes and then Lynda took my blindfold off and they all yelled “SURPRISE!” We were at Lucky Strike in center city!

My bridal party was [mostly] there, as were some very close friends. I was so surprised! Later, my new-found friends, Tim and Grace Ewing [of Ewing Entertainment] arrived and she took some excellent photos!

We bowled and had a great time, then we all headed into taxis (hailed by Rachel, the sister who lives in Israel!) and went t0 a Malaysianrestaurant named Penang.

Overall, it was a lot of fun!

As Steve and I plan our wedding, I’m learning that there are many family traditions that make up a wedding that often times, guests aren’t privy to knowing.  Its caused me to take a step back and really think about what intimate traditions we may want to incorporate into our big day.  For example, when my maternal grandparents were married in 1949, my grandmother carried a little, white Holy Bible down the aisle.  When my parents were married in 1976, my mom carried that same bible.  Its been in three additional wedding ceremonies – including my grandparent’s vow renewal on their 50th wedding anniversary.  I am very honored to be able to carry it with me in June – it makes me feel connected to my grandmother, who passed away a number of years ago.  I think that it also strengthens family ties because I know that I will not be the last bride to carry it towards her groom.  It gives me a sense of family history – past and future.

My dad once made the comment that he couldn’t believe that I wasn’t wearing my mother’s wedding dress.  I can be very sentimental but the truth is my mom was 18 when she married my dad.  I don’t think that my left leg would fit in her gown.  But - I will use her six-pence, honoring that age-old poem that we all know by heart.

 ”Something old, Something new; Something borrow, something blue; and a silver six-pence in her shoe.”

Like my grandmother’s Holy Bible, I can see, and hope, that maybe my niece, or any children that Steve and I may have, will someday continue the tradition.

And the final tradition, a new tradition, that I would like to start involves my parent’s cake knife.  Their silver knife was engraved with their names and wedding date.  My mom offered it up to me to use and I’m currently in the process of finding an engraver who will add my and Steve’s name.  At some point, I hope that knife becomes so engraved with names, that it loses all of its reflective surfaces.

A wedding is a blending of two families so I’ve asked Steve if his family has any personal wedding tradition.  All I got was a quizzical, furloughed look – typical guy.  So family-to-be, if you can think of anything that we should be incorporating, please let me know!

Since Clay and I are having a formal wedding at a country club, it’s been important all along to portray that message to our guests.  When I realized that wedding invitations were not only for sharing day-of logistics but also an indication of wedding style, I started to rethink the waste-factor. In keeping with the impression we wanted to make, the traditional invitations with scroll-y fonts and wispy designs seemed fitting. However, I am far from a traditional bride (or person), so it became a bit more involved…

Since we had decided online ordering was the best route for us budget-wise, we requested several samples. After receiving them, I surprised myself; suddenly the little details of what I had originally deemed excessive became rather important to me. It turns out that I am a big fan of thermography, which is a type of printing that is less expensive than engraving but still leaves a textured finish—it still shows formality and gives a “richer” feel than flat printing. Some online invitation sites allow complete customization of paper, fonts, wording and colors, while others limit how much can be changed. If I felt like a certain font looked informal or childish and couldn’t be switched, it was actually a deal breaker. I started reading into the invitation itself instead of simply the words. Confession: this was the first time I pulled the “but I’m the bride!” card. Clay and I had different picks—a very, very rare occurrence for us throughout wedding planning. I chose black invitations. Beautiful, elegant, silver printed, scroll-y fonted, black linen (paper texture is also something to consider) invitations. They’re glorious. And they most definitely depict our wedding as formal yet untraditional, a combination that has proven most challenging but is so very “us.” Clay hopped on board with me once I compared the unchangeable Arial font on his favorite to a 3^rd grade spelling test : )

Oh, no...

After agonizing over wording, positioning, headers and where to put what, we finally placed our order. All was well with the world and we were so excited to see the finished product—actually looking at what your guests will receive when the time comes definitely makes everything feel “real.” And real it was when we opened that heavy box to see our full names romantically printed, the RSVP date set, the…. HUGE ERROR ON THE RECEPTION CARDS. Oh, yes. Could it be true? After pouring over the online proofs for what seemed like hours (this is Clay, who measured our save the date heading with an actual ruler to ensure centeredness)… how could we have missed “TEXT PLACE HOLDER” in the upper right corner of our reception cards? It turned out that this wasn’t our mistake, it was theirs. And after several phone calls, they agreed to fix this issue for us and reprinted the reception cards free of charge. However, the silver cardstock backer we added to contrast the black invitation came unassembled. At no point in the ordering process did it imply that the pieces would come separate. While the company admitted that again, this was their error, not ours, they wouldn’t budge on refunding us the extra money. It turned out that if we wanted the backers on, we would be left a bit sticky. Sigh.

So, the verdict on internet invitations? Split. The many question marks involved in not seeing your actual invite before spending all the money is worrisome, but the money saved in doing so it fantastic. Just make sure you leave enough time for yourself to work out the inevitable errors. Putting everything together ourselves wasn’t awful, but it was time consuming and a pain. Once we were finished DIYing, we thought the worst was over. Wrong.

Some assembly line action!

Potential for Disaster Tip #1: If you’re a twenty-something bride like me, here’s something to keep in mind: your friends are at a very mobile point in their lives. At least 1/3 of our guests’ addresses changed from the time that we sent out save the date around Halloween of last year and this spring. Check and double check your list to avoid the dreaded “return to sender” stamp.

Tip #2: Don’t overstuff. Our reply card and small self-addressed stamped envelope fit snugly in with our invitation. We thought it was perfectly measured until they started busting through the bottoms of our outer envelope. Having to re-address and assemble a few dozen invitations is not what you want to be doing after half a bottle of wine and a sigh of relief thinking that the end is near…

Tip #3: Be mindful of international postage. We have several friends in Canada and Clay has family in New Zealand. 45 cents isn’t going to cut it and it will seriously delay the arrival of invitations to any non-US guests on your list.

Packing up our invitations only to be turned away by the post office, booooo!

Tip #4: Assemble a sample invitation and take it to the post office to be weighed before stamping 200 envelopes. We were confident that since we didn’t have an inner envelope (yay, green!) or lots of supplemental cards included that our invitations wouldn’t be overweight. Guess what? A mere 1/10 of an ounce left us with the choice of sticking additional postage with GEORGE WASHINGTON’S face on our pretty envelopes or sucking up an extra 45 cents per invite to keep with our classy ivory rose Forever stamps. Not to be un-American, but I wasn’t too keen on our first president’s grimace gracing the first piece of wedding stationary received. There goes the money that we saved by ordering off the internet…

B'Zilla just says no to machine stamped envelopes : )

Tip #5: Hand-canceling. If you haven’t heard of this, it’s basically just the process of a postal worker stamping your envelopes instead of putting them through a machine which can damage/dirty the pristine look of a wedding invitation. I specifically requested this but, alas, when I saw smudged and bent invitation that arrived at my mom’s house, it was clearly not hand canceled. If this is important to you, I say plead the Bridezilla excuse and wait for the job to get done. People can judge you all they want, but they’re not the ones who poured time and money into something that is quite high priority for plenty of brides.

I think that invitations are a perfect example of why those oh-so-organized brides outshine me once again, rats! In the midst of a cross-country move and a thesis defense, Clay and I definitely didn’t do the much-needed homework associated with a seemingly simple task. Regardless of your level of DIY, leave yourself enough time to avoid the “OMG these aren’t going to get out before our RSVP deadline” freak out and whichever way you choose to order your invites should be just fine : )

Happy stuffing, stamping, and sending!

PS major points to any bride who had en error worse than TEXT PLACE HOLDER and managed not have a full-on curse-like-a-sailor-meltdown in her kitchen–please share!